Henceforth:
Thee alone do I love, Thee alone I follow, Thee alone I seek, Thee alone am I prepared to serve, for Thou alone art Lord by a just title, of Thy dominion do I desire to be.
Direct, I pray, and command whatever Thou wilt, but heal and open my ears, that I may hear Thine utterances. Heal and open my eyes, that I may behold Thy significations of command. Drive delusion from me, that I may recognize Thee. Tell me whither I must tend, to behold Thee, and I hope that I shall do all things Thou mayest enjoin.
O Lord, most merciful Father receive, I pray, Thy fugitive; enough already, surely, have I been punished, long enough have I served Thine enemies, whom Thou hast under Thy feet, long enough have I been a sport of fallacies. Receive me fleeing from these, Thy house-born servant, for did not these receive me, though another Master's, when I was fleeing from Thee?
To Thee I feel I must return: I knock; may Thy door be opened to me; teach me the way to Thee. Nothing else have I than the will: nothing else do I know than that fleeting and falling things are to be spurned, fixed and everlasting things to be sought. This I do, Father, because this alone I know, but from what quarter to approach Thee I do not know.
Do Thou instruct me, show me, give me my provision for the way. If it is by faith that those find Thee, who take refuge with Thee then grant faith: if by virtue, virtue: if by knowledge, knowledge. Augment in me, faith, hope, and charity.
O goodness of Thine, singular and most to be admired!
St. Augustine, “Soliloquies", Chapter Five. Be brutally honest.
When Shakespeare said, “To thine ownself be true” he was echoing (in his own way and for his own reasons) a fundamental Christian truth – being honest with yourself. This particularly important when you are considering yourself, when you are reflecting on your own dispositions, habits and motivations. You can lie to yourself, and you can make yourself believe your own lies about yourself. But serious reflection chases the lies away in an instant. That is why so few people really do it; we are afraid of what we might see. We can even lie to God about ourselves, but our lies cannot deceive Him. He knows us better than we know ourselves (thank-you St. Augustine) and our lies to God about ourselves are simply the devil’s way of keeping our eyes closed to our own reality. But is this any way to live? Modern life throws up plenty of barriers that prevent us from seeing reality, should we add more of our own construction? True self-awareness is hard work and it is never completed. We mature, grow and change; there is always more to discover and uncover. It is a part of life’s work and part of what it means to be fully human. God, grant me the grace to see myself as I am seen by you. Do not allow me to linger in a false world of my own construction. Free me from my hidden faults, but first bring me face to face with them. In the moment of despair that follows this revelation, show me the bruised and bloody face of Your Son who suffered to rid me of these very infirmities. Then, with the precious blood of Christ, wash away this vestige of my old self and create in me the new person you want me to be. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen |
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- All major undertakings of life are marked by insufficient knowledge upon entering and a gradual growing into the reality (marriage, fatherhood, career...). This process requires a dying to one's own preconceptions.
- When knowledge of personal sinfulness compels one to throw himself into the arms of Christ, it is an act of the Holy Spirit. When it leads to despair and self loathing, it is the work of Satan
- 2 gardens, Eden and Gethsemane. To get back to the former you must pass through the latter.
- Prayer - When you want to pray, imagine that you are in a room and Christ walked in. Would you bombard Him with questions, or would you worship Him or would you simply sit in silent awe and let Him speak? Would you want the encounter to be on your terms or His? Whose agenda would you like to discuss?
- What is the image of God that lies behind your prayer? Is God someone that owes us something?
- The seriousness of prayer of petition - When you ask for something, God may ask what you are willing to do to get it. (When the rich young man asked Him how to get to heaven...) When you pray that God be glorified, He may respond by requiring your death as a martyr; that is one way that God is glorified in His people (sainthood is another - possibly more of a challenge). Christ asked the father for several things. God said, "OK, just hang from the cross and die." And He did. When you embrace the cross, you embrace God's will and action in your life.
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Prayer to an Unknown Saint
I pray to you whose name I do not know.
I do not know your name
because you were no one in this world
but you are now before the Throne of Grace.
In this world you were despised or simply ignored.
You were not rich – teach me poverty.
You were not powerful – teach me humility.
You were a fool for the Lord – teach me wisdom.
You now see the Lord in His glory –
turn me towards Him.
In this world you were no one
but now you enjoy the company of saints
I know by name
and you are equal to them in Christ.
By praying to those others and neglecting you
I show that I have not learned the simple charity
to which I have been called.
Pray for me that I might learn, not your name
but that I might see you in the world today
in all those I ignore.
Pray for me that I might learn to love
all members of the Body
and through them, love Him who is the head. |
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The Grand Illusion The challenge is to recognize that what most of us consider to be reality is simply the man-made manifestations that cloud the vision of the world which God has revealed in His Son. Entering into His reality is painful, but it is the only place worth living. Actually, we already live there, we just don't recognize it. |
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